Long time no see.

For the last 4-5 years, Darcy would always occasionally pop into my mind and I'd wonder where she is now and hope that someday, by some random act of fate, I would run into her somehow and get to apologize for all I did to her. I thought that would be impossible, since she moved to the other side of the country.

Darcy was a prime selection for a lot of teasing in 6th grade. She was different than most other people, just in social ways, so people were mean to her. And I think of all the students, I was the worst to her. I am not one to be mean to people just because, and I absolutely hate when people do so or are mean to someone solely for the purpose of making themselves feel better, like they are above the person they just put down. I absolutely can't stand that. But in middle school, probably more around 6th and 7th grade, I was just that. I made fun of Darcy every day. She was homeschooled in the past (not saying all homeschooled kids are wierd, cuz I've got really close homeschooled friends.) but, Darcy was different. It's the way some homeschooled kids are (even my homeschooled friends with back this up) you know when they just don't have as much social contact with other people. Anyways, that was Darcy.

She was a very nice girl. She was polite and nice to other people, usually even when everyone in the class was ganging up on her. I don't know how she put up with it. I had a way of being mean to her and being all funny about it and the people I was with would always laugh and I'd sound so funny and superior. I had no right at all to subject her to the things I did since I was no mid-school royalty if you know what I'm saying, which is probably one of the reasons I was so cruel to her. I was incredibly insecure, just like most every girl, and I guess that's how I took it out. I had to have some channel of confidence. And making fun of Darcy was that channel.

After 6th grade, Darcy moved to Florida. It wasn't due to the teasing, that would be awfully drastic, I don't know why she moved. But, I always wondered what happened to her. I didn't dislike Darcy, I believe deep down during the days of using her as my victim of torment I actually considered her a nice human being and thought she was a good person that I didn't mind much at all, and had I possessed more compassion back then as I do now I probably would have been on good terms with her. But, the capacity to disregard her social differences was not something I had.

I remember at lunch teasing her, something to do with not wanting her to sit down at lunch with us, and so of course I was cracking jokes and making mocking excuses why she couldn't. Then there was one incedent in art class where other kids were making fun of what she was wearing. I don't remember participating, but I remember laughing hysterically at how she reacted. And I'm pretty sure one time she reacted to this one guy picking on her by telling him she was gonna fight him and putting up wimpy fists in a wierd stance. It was really funny at the time. This fed the histerics of the situation and man I never let her off the hook for that one. I probably always imitated her stance at her whenever possible.

When she moved to Florida, first of all it was during the hurricanes so I wondered whether she got trapped in her house and was killed or something dramatic like that, but I always wondered what happened to her. It wasn't until 8th grade when I fully came to terms with what an awful person I had been to her. I regretted the heck out of all the ways I wronged her. I was growing as a person and now, having much more compassion and a higher capacity of kindness, I couldn't believe I had ever been that kind of person who took such sharp jabs at someone for my own fulfillment.

For the past 4 years since 7thth grade, I have been hoping that by some wild chance I should come across her. I would hope to randomly stumble on her online or maybe she moved back to eugene (before I moved), or something. I would think of it every once in a while and think of how stupid I was to ever hurt her. It always pops into my head now and again ever since then. Even in 7th grade I began feeling awful remorse. I figured I would never get a chance to apologize and reconcile all the things I had done, and let her know I never had any right to put her through those things. But you know God, he's got an interesting way of making fate work out.

I needed a break from my homework the other day in the middle of facing the seemingly impossible task of studying for a history test that I knew practically nothing about. So I turned on my computer and hopped online. I got on facebook, looked at random stuff, and went to check my notifications. One said "Darcy ____ has commented on a photo of you." you know, how it tells you if someone comments on a pic that has you in it. Well, I always get the name Marcy and Darcy mixed up, and I know a Marcy somewhat, so I thought it was her. So I clicked on it, and it was a picture of me and my friend Holly on the last day of school in our honors english class making really wierd sexual faces that a girl in our class had taken and put on facebook. I think holly had commented on it, and below hers was a comment by Darcy. As soon as I saw her picture I knew it was her. I was shocked. She didn't really look completely the same, but I just knew it was her cuz who else would it be? She commented on it and said "I think Alyssa was in my language arts class in 6th grade, I'm pretty sure of it." I was completely blown away. After millions of years of wishing so badly that I could find her and apologize, she had just happened to two weeks prior to this occasion find my classmate online and befriend her, making it possible for me to stumble upon her profile that day. I replied back to the comment saying I remembered her and immediately friend requested her. She must have been online because it was immediately accepted, and in a couple seconds a facebook chat window was opened, by Darcy, and she said hi.

I said hi and oh my goodness its been so long, she said I looked so pretty now (which only made my guilt worse. She was such a nice person and I was so dumb.) and I said how incredibly glad I was that she commented on that picture so that I could talk to her. I told her that I've always hoped we'd run into eachother somehow and now that we did I had something very important I needed to say to her. "I'm all ears."
"Well, you know back in 6th grade when I was a really awful person to you and treated you absolutely horribly for no reason and I had no right to treat you that way but still I was just incredibly mean to you? Well, ever since then, I've felt incredibly guilty and always really hoped I'd run into you somehow so I could apologize. So, I'm sorry."

A really wierd apology. But I was so insanely happy that I had finally gotten that opportunity.

"I totally accept." were her words.

We continued to talk for a while. She asked me why I was mean to her in 6th grade, and asked me not to get upset, she was just wondering. I didn't mind. I just told her it was cuz I was a stupid little middle schooler who felt she needed to be mean to someone like that. She said it was a shame because I seem really nice now. And she bets if she still lived in Eugene we'd be friends (eehhh...). But, I said I'm sure we would have... (eehhh..)...

She said she had questions to ask me, but I had to go, so we'd talk another time. So anyways. That day was amazing. It was the wildest act of fate I have ever experienced and it happened in like 5 minutes. But now it doesn't have to keep haunting me now that I finally got to apologize for wronging her like that.

It was muy bueno.

And that's my story of making my wrongs with Darcy right.

Bueno.